I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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