What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
