Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
