just come out here and I will go home with you...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
