great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
