My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize