I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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