he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
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