I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
