No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
