I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize