would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
