New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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