Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
