Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Life without a bra equals bliss.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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