We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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