whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
oh god was she eating orange peels again
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
