I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
