ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize