I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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