He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
