hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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