Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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