you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
