I love black thongs
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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