Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize