lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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