We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
