I'm lost and stupid without you.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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