yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
