if you like me you must not know who I am
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
