And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Drunk is not a location!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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