dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
