I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize