All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize