Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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