Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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