Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
