walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
