Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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