She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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