wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
