the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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