where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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