If i come over, it means nothing
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
