As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
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I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
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Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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