I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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