The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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