He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
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Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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