The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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