We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
