I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
