I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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