My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
