It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
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Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
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Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess