We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.