The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"