weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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