You really coming over, don't trick.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
