A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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