bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize