Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
